on a mission

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I am always on a mission of some sort…I generally always like to have a plan and once I begin to carry that plan out, I am already thinking about the next thing I want to do. It’s a vicious cycle.  And it doesn’t end until I’m fully asleep….

So yesterday, I had a full day all to myself. Sandy was busy finishing his final project for school. I had no obligations and nothing to do (since I really couldn’t talk to him either ’cause he was in the ‘zone’).  So…I was proud of myself to hit two milestones yesterday!!

I went to church by myself AND went to a movie by myself.  Did I feel like a loser? Sure. Did I worry that someone would feel sorry for me and talk behind my back? Sure.  But I didn’t care. I enjoyed myself very much.  (Even Sandy felt sorry for me.) I got to sit where I wanted at church and slip out afterwards. (I am also the go in and leave right after the service kind of person and don’t like to chit chat much cause I am ready for lunch and want to reflect and let the message sink in, whereas Sandy likes to socialize, sometimes for hours). Before the movie, I went shopping and only went in the stores I wanted to go in and didn’t feel pressured to leave when I wanted to look around.  I even bought a $5 necklace for myself and didn’t feel guilty (which is strange because Sandy and I just don’t buy things for ourselves like that, bc we feel too guilty). Then, I got to choose the movie (Four Christmases and it’s gooooood), I sat front and center at the movies, had my own bucket of popcorn, and even laughed out loud (which is slightly awkward, but whatever).  I even thought about taking myself out to dinner (which I have done before), but I had splurged enough. My time was up…

PS. I believe my inspiration came from watching Into the Wild…even though it was just a day in the city and I didn’t have to kill my own food.  Either way…

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